I saw a video the other day, a behind the scenes peek of a new workout program. The modifier was struggling in one particular exercise – a modifier in a workout video is there to show alternate moves with less impact so the program can work with people at various fitness levels. The trainer got in it right there with her for support. Before long, the rest of the cast were all doing the move with her while the trainer shouts, “We’re not leaving you behind!”. The modifier made it through the move with tears and lots of celebratory cheers.
It brought up lots of painful memories for me of when I first joined a gym after gaining some weight. I remember feeling embarrassed to go to the gym. Forget the workout, I had such bad anxiety and I nearly had a panic attack before I even walked in the door. I ran to the nearest open elliptical, cranked my music, and tried to look like I belonged there. It got easier each time, and pretty soon I did feel like I belonged there and I really enjoyed seeing my fitness progress.
It can be really intimidating to join a workout program if you don’t fit the ideal, but let’s face it, who does? Even models get some digital help. When you go to the gym, there are all these fit looking people there and they all seem to just know what to do. But if you really look, there are people there of every fitness level. No one is born knowing what to do with the machines at the gym, they all started right where everyone starts, totally clueless.
Funny thing is, when you start getting to know people, you realize most things aren’t what you think. All those fit people there have stories, weight struggles of their own, you are just seeing a tiny freeze frame of the bigger picture. Most of them know very well what it is to feel insecure and afraid to look like an idiot on the workout equipment, and they really want to help you. In my fitness journey, I have met so many people that I assumed were naturally thin, or had always been in shape only to find out they had lost significant amounts of weight.
Weight struggles have been a constant in my life. When I was in good shape as a kid, it was because I was active in gymnastics, dance, skiing, rollerskating, or playing soccer. After 3 pregnancies in 6 years and 3 little girls to raise, I got lost and all the baby weight stuck around. I found a step aerobics tape (yes, tape, it was the 90’s) that came with a step. I worked out every night from 11 to Midnight (the only time I had), and in a few months went from a size 18-20 to a 10-12. Life got in the way, and the pounds crept back on. I would get back up to a 14, then back down and the cycle continued.
At a low point, I couldn’t dig myself out of the weight gain. I’d been going to the gym for 3 or 4 months, and not seeing much progress. I asked my doctor for help with weight loss, and she wrote a prescription which I promptly filled. I did some research on the side effects, and was, again, at a loss on what to do. At this same time, a friend of mine invited me to join a 5-day clean eating group. I had absolutely nothing to lose, so I thought I’d try it. I had great results and ended up continuing with home workouts. In 3 weeks, I had better results than the 4 months at the gym, I was hooked!
Even more surprising than the fitness results (which are important, of course), was the community of support that I stumbled on. There is daily accountability with zero judgment. Just a ton of love and support to become the best version of me while giving myself permission to be human and make mistakes. This community welcomed me with big, open arms and wanted to know the real me, and not just the highlight reel.
These women are there, cheering me on, I thought I was the outsider, that I didn’t belong in this group of fit people, but their willingness to be transparent and vulnerable has changed my life. They share the real and raw version of life, maybe that they’ve been in the same yoga pants for days, or haven’t washed their hair in days, or they ate cereal for dinner because they were too exhausted to make “real” food. In the quest to accept themselves and love themselves as they are, they have inspired me to do the same. When I fall off the wagon, they are quick to remind me that it’s just one day, and to get back at it the next day. They are right there with me, my biggest supporters and cheerleaders who are right there with me shouting, “We’re not leaving you behind!”